First, responding to a Rasmussen poll that shows nearly three-quarters of D.C. Republicans are out of touch with their electorat, Angry White Dude has …
… put together a few suggestions to help the wussypants Republican party elite right their ship:
1. Eliminate the phrase “reach across the aisle” forever! Conservatives do not want Republicans reaching across the aisle when the people sitting on the other side of the aisle are socialists! They are the enemy and must be defeated! If Republicans must reach across the aisle, it should be to grab the throat of a socialist DemonRat!
2. Grow some balls! When is the last time any Republican leader got “chair-throwing” mad? Hell, when did they show any emotion at all as our freedoms are being taken away? When the Stimulus Bill passed without even being read, they would have had to carry AWD’s ass out of Congress at gunpoint had I been there as an elected Republican! Look around….Americans are breathing fire and it’s time for Republicans to breathe some too!
3. Never vote for anything that adds to the size and/or power of the government! Never vote for anything for which we will have to borrow money to pay for it! In the case of ObamaCare, Americans don’t want government involved in their health care…and we don’t want a bi-partisan agreement! If you want health care reform, get the sleazy John Edwards—like trial lawyers out of the pockets of doctors and STOP PROVIDING FREE HEALTH CARE TO ILLEGAL ALIENS!
4. The 3 Rs…Rid Republicans of RINOs. I wanted to slap John McCain last week when he said at his town hall that he believes Hussein Hopenchange honors the Constitution! These good ol’ boys who love to fly in private jets and pontificate on Sunday news shows have to go! They’ve had way too much time in DC and are now the problem, not the solution! We are sick of McCain, Snowe, Collins, Lindsey Graham, Pete Sessions and a whole hell of a lot more! Stop listening to has-been tools like Newt Gingrich and Colin Powell. They do nothing more than muddy the water of common sense! Again, part of the problem! Give up on the ridiculous calls for “big-tent” Republicanism. If the Republican tent is big enough for an ex-General who endorsed and voted for a socialist, it is way too big for conservatives!
5. Stand for what benefits America and Americans! Republicans pissed away 8 years they could have used to secure the southern border with Mexico. Bush even called people who opposed the McCain/Kennedy amnesty program “racists!!” Fight to reduce government! I am confident that my life would not be affected one little bit if 50% of the federal government would go away tomorrow! Lazy bureaucrats with lifetime pensions and over-the-top perqs suck the hard-working taxpayer dry! Drill oil on American soil! Stand up to the leftist “environmentalists” who couldn’t tell the difference between a deer and a buffalo! Represent the interests of the people who pay for your exorbitant lifestyle for a change!
Next, Vanderleun at American Digest has devised a 12-Step program for liberals hopelessly addicted to the intellectually and morally bankrupt NY Times:
In NYet Times Anonymous, we strive for an ever-deeper understanding of our addiction to NYet Times Blather and devote ourselves to ending it forever. We are always mindful that even one small sip of a Maureen Dowd column can lead to a life of existential despair and intellectual bottoming out.
These 12 steps we have found essential for overcoming the NYTimes affliction in our minds and the plague upon the nation. We extend them here to our fellow sufferers.
1. We admitted we were powerless over The NYet Times—that our reading lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Fox News greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, truth, justice and the American Way.
3. Made a decision to turn our New York Times subscription (and our lust to feel smarter than the guy next door who reads the LAte Times) over to the care of Fox News as we understood It.
4. Made a searching moral inventory of Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman, Pinch Sulzberger and the other sagging bodies and colonized minds swapping spit in the NYet Times editorial hot tub.
5. Admitted to Fox, to ourselves and to our Higher Power the exact nature of our misplaced credulity and lust after a front page review of our next book in the NYet Times Sunday Book Review, or just one leetle link from Tom Friedman.
6. Were entirely ready to have Fox News and our local proctologist remove all copies of the NYet Times from our memory banks.
7. Humbly asked Bill O’Rielly to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed by quoting the NYet Times in arguments and blatherfests, and became willing to send them gift subscriptions to the National Review.
9. Watched Fox News wherever possible, except when to do so would cause our teeth to burst into flames.
10. Continued to guard against reading the NYet Times and when we slipped promptly watched Fox News.
11. Sought through Anne Coulter to improve our conscious contact with Fox News as we understood it, praying only for Glenn Beck’s advertisers to come back.
12. Having had a huge amount of spare time added to our lives, especially on Sundays, as the result of not reading the NYet Times, we tried to extend our watching of Fox News to others who were still addicted to the NYet Times.
Finally, at TownHall (I know, it’s not really a blog, but this piece is bloggish), columnist, educator, and author Mike Adams shares his most recent batch of hate mail:
Mr. [sic] Adams, You [sic] column on mental health issues is the most intolerant and bigoted piece of crap I have ever read. Its [sic] also utterly inaccurate. You are the sort of bigoted bible thumping proselytizing ass that gives true conservatives a bad name. Do the rest of us a favor and shut the hell up.—Andy Buchanan
Sorry, Andy. You didn’t say “please.”—Mike Adams
Dr. Adams, you are a paranoid idiot. You probably think your next door neighbor is a communist.—John
Hi John! That isn’t true. My next door neighbor is a Republican. But I think his cat is a communist. He’s Siamese and every time he comes near he just stares at me and says “Mao. Mao. Mao.” I’m beginning to wonder… seriously.—Mike Adams […]
Dr. Adams, you are a doushbag [sic]. —Frank
Frank, the spell checker is your friend. It isn’t your enema.—Mike Adams
You are an idiot, Dr. Adms [sic]. You cannot seriously have a PhD, can you? GO back to Mississippi where the other illiterayes [sic] are from.—Jack
Hi Jack. What are “illiterayes”? I’m afraid I lack your sophisticated vocabulary.—Mike Adms
Dr. Adams, it is in poor taste to jugde [sic] cultures other than you [sic] own. References to Muslim man [sic] as “swarthy” and remarks about Muslim headwear are simply untoward.—Sue
Hi Sue. I come from a culture where people think that judging other cultures is good. Please stop judging our culture.—Mike
p.s. I also come from a culture with a healthy respect for the spell-checker. Please, come visit us some time.
Dr. Adams: I hate Sarah Palin. The only reason she’s on the Republican ticket is because she’s a woman.—Carley
Dear Carley: I have some very bad news for you. You believe people should be chosen for positions based on qualifications, not demographics. That makes you a conservative.—Mike Adams
You really stooped to [sic] low with this column. You should never use the word “fat”.—Anonymous.
Dear Anonymous: You just did.—Mike Adams […]
Dr. Adams, your last article was just not up to your standard as a writer.—Scott
Dear Scott: That is probably because I am constantly upping my standards. Now up yours.—Mike Adams
I just read your new book about feminism. Nothing in your book is even remotely funny or accurate. Go back to the cave where you beling [sic].—Jinny
Hi Jinny. In the book, I stated that feminists have no sense of humor. If you did not consider that part of the book to be funny then it must have been accurate.—Mike Adams
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